MARRIAGE OVER WEDDING

Ketika SMA, saya mempersiapkan mental untuk menikah di usia 21 tahun. Tapi kenyataannya, hal tersebut baru bisa terwujud 5 tahun kemudian. Kalau kata Alanis Morisette, "What took me so long?". Iya, what took me so long sampai baru bisa menikah sekarang? Faktor pemakan waktunya sih banyak ya. Misalnya, pacar A tidak siap nikah, pacar B tidak serius, lalu pacar C dibenci orangtua. Sampai akhirnya saya bertemu dengan Bapak satu ini, yang tidak dibenci orangtua saya, punya modal, dan (ngakunya) siap nikah.

Most importantly, he loves me. A lot.

(Geez, where have you been all my life?)

Alhamdulillah.

Alhasil lahirlah blog ini. Tapi kemudian saya mikir: Hokelah, blog ini dibuat dengan tujuan utama membahas segala yang cantik-cantik untuk hajatan kami nanti: baju pengantin, dekorasi, bebungaan, makanan, dst. Tapi setelah hajatannya usai dan yang cantik-cantik itu hanyalah menjadi kenangan, terus apa?

Menjalani pernikahan bahagia, tentunya. Saya meringis melihat pesta kawinan Reza-Bia yang biayanya 16 miliar, tapi saya lebih meringis melihat teman-teman saya yang cerai satu-persatu. Keliatannya kok gampang banget, kaya' ganti kolor. Amit-amit. Padahal kalau kata Edward Suhadi, seorang wedding photographer, pesta megah meriah nggak ada artinya SAMA SEKALI kalo kehidupan pernikahan lo nanti nggak bahagia. Pesta boleh cantik, tapi kehidupan pernikahan saya harus jauh lebih cantik. Kompak. Tabah. Keren. Awet. Seawet pernikahannya Carl dan Ellie. Atau orangtuanya Mas Edward :)

Mas, I hope you don't mind me quoting you here, ya (taken from his blog):

Marriage Over Wedding

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 Posted in Rant, wedding

Hoohum… a bit teary eyed just preparing this post. This is one emotional blog entry.

My parents is celebrating their 43rd wedding anniversary today, 8 December 2009. Forty-three. That’s quite a long time.

As their ‘real’ child (they have lots and lots of children, hehe… more on that later) I know things haven’t always been easy on them. They have gone through a lot. My brother’s birth (my older brother is paralyzed from birth), family issues, character differences, economic crisis of 98, and of course, raising me (hahaha… kidding).

Don’t get me wrong, I work in this industry, but seeing them working their marriage day by day, I often got reminded that no matter how beautiful your wedding is, how extravagant and how amazing the pictures turned out, all those pages of memories is nothing, zero, if you don’t have a great marriage afterwards. That is why, deep down in our hearts, we know there’s nothing more heart-warming like the sight of grandad and granny walking down the road, hand in hand.

Everybody who is doing weddings week in week out could easily got bored seeing the flowers, the dress, the pictures, the decorations, etc. But we are always inspired by stories of great marriages, where you know that ‘love’ is not just a phrase on wedding invitations, but often means tears, sweat and sacrifices.

I often said this to my couples just before I left them after the party, “Congratulations on your beautiful wedding. Let’s have a more beautiful marriage.” I say this by no means that I am an expert. Far from it. But only as a fellow married couple who reminded one another that the journey just had begun.

So to my parents, congratulations on getting through this far. I know, first-hand, that the road hasn’t always been easy. But I pray to the Lord that starting from now on, in your old age, only laughter and joy will dominate your days.

UPDATE: Just like it was meant to be, I bumped into this great companion article for this post from the New York Times: Married Happily (With Issues) – great read for us young couples.

Love you guys,
Edward+Francy

Dan mari kita tonton kembali cuplikan kehidupan pernikahan Carl dan Ellie -- dari film Up -- yang super keren ini. Emang kampret ni adegan! Gue nangis sampe tiga ember nontonnya, ahuhuhu... Saya selalu berdoa siang-malam agar kehidupan pernikahan saya nanti seperti ini: sederhana, nggak banyak cingcong, ikhlas, dan seru :)

Hope they inspire bride everywhere to fight for their marriage later, despite anything, until the end of time. Amin!