Good morning!
I wasn't planning to blog this morning, I swear. As much as I'm excited, I don't want to look too obsessive. Ha! But I think I gotta write this down.
I was reading the Qur'an this morning after my Subuh prayers. Since I got my brand new spankin' Qur'an, the spirit is cranked up even more. All I wanted to do was ngaji, ngaji, ngaji. The Qur'an was that good, and my holy intention was that strong (Alhamdulillah, Insya Allah, dan Aamin).
I just started all over again this couple of weeks, so naturally I'm still at Al-Baqaroh. This morning, I reached this infamous verse:
117. Allah Pencipta langit dan bumi, dan bila Dia berkehendak (untuk menciptakan) sesuatu, maka (cukuplah) Dia hanya mengatakan kepadanya: "Jadilah!" Lalu jadilah ia.
"Kun fayakun" is a Qur'anic term that all Muslims are familiar with. We've heard it, and understand it, so many times before.
So why did I sobbed like crazy when I read it this morning? Why did I repeat the verse until 3 times, just to absorb it, again and again?
Maybe it's because it was such a strong reminder, that no matter how well I prepare this wedding, no matter how ready I think I am, no matter how certain I am to not to have a child straight after wedding, God is the one who's leading the way. Everything will crumble, everything will fail, everything will change, everything will be better, everything will go on unexpectedly, in a blink of an eye...
... if Allah says so. Ku fayakun.
Sekali lagi, nggak ada artinya pakaian saya diarak-arak sama Bapak Edo Hutabarat, nanti duduk di singgasana Shangri-La, dan segala kemewahan lainnya, kalo kehidupan pernikahan saya ntar nol besar. Segala perencanaan anak itu pun adalah sampah, karena Allah lebih tau, kapan saya siap, kapan enggak.
I may be raised with Western education and grew up with the most intense Western influence in my life, but I have to - I need to - have this faith, no matter how complex it is.
Thank you, my dearest Allah for giving me such perspective this morning. Sembah sujudku meminta kepada-Mu, semoga saya terus diingatkan, dan semoga saya selalu ikhlas se-ikhlas-ikhlasnya makhluk hidup atas apapun keputusan-Mu nanti :) :)
6 comments:
ih..pagi2 baca ini jadi terharu..
keep the faith dear..God is always around. :)
ps. ngg..gw bukan stalker lho, cuma suka aja baca blog ini..hehe :)
Aamiin. Thank youuu. Hehe, nggak apa-apa kok sering-sering kasih comment. Besok-besok kasih duit ya! :D
Dear Lawela, I woke up this morning with a text in my bb from you saying :
“Shalin cantik, mau tanya kalo seragammu jadinya biru mau tak? Yang ungu agak overloaded nih :D“ Hahaha, akhirnya gw penasaran and start googling what a baju bodo looked like, from youtube, web image, and blogs (padahal you know kan eike paling anti dunia maya sampe fesbuk & twitter aje kagak bikin).. Sampe akhirnya gw nyasar ke blog-nya miranti and then sampe ke blog lo & Friday, dan 3 jam terakhir (mumpung bos gw lg cuti, akhirnya gw baca blog lo dari awal cerita ampe habis for catching up with you my long lost friend, yang cuma jumpa di group bbm saking sibuknya hahaha..)
La, terserah dikasih seragam warna apa aja udah Alhamdulillah masih diinget sebagai temen! Remembering all those sleeping over at your place (terkadang 1 kasur bareng dara juga), and curhat2 session di masa kita masih mencari jati diri dan jodoh jaman kuliah, sampe akhirnya lo nikah juga (duluan, at last, amieeeenn tante Michi & Om Achmad selamat yah pasti bahagia!!) Sumpah gw terharu biru sekarang, emang gak gampang jadi cpw yaaah ternyata, dan gw cuma mau mendoakan yang terbaik buat kalian setelah semua perjuangan dan cobaan.. AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER! Amien Love you La..
Shalin sayang, gue sampe speechless banget baca komen ini. Sumpah! Love you too, maniis, I miss you banget nget nget nget. Iya, inget ya jaman-jaman dulu kita nginep bareng, joget-joget di kamar, dan ujung-ujungnya curhat sampe nangis haha.
Gue doain lo juga bahagia terus, mau jodohnya deket atau masih jauh kek, gue yakin you will always manage to make your life happy. Kenapa kita jadi sesi kamse gini ya?! Hahaha... Kiss kiss. Ketemuan yuuuk, sekaligus nengokin babynya Shinta!
Dear Leila, maaf i don't know you, but i love to read ur blog. and when i'm read this part i'm crying. begitu terharunya dan merasakan begitu besarnya kekuasaaan Allah.
Saya dan psangan saya berencana menghatamkan Al Quran sebelum pernikahan, begitu banyak orang yg melakukan treatment, mutih dll sebelum menikah, tapi ga kepikiran ke hal yg ini. Cuma bisa berdoa semoga pernikahan kita berdoa mendapatkan limpahan berkah & ridho dari Allah SWT. Amien YRA.
Salam kenal
Kiki
Hellow Kiki :) Makasih atas komennya yaa. Sukses atas niat khatam-nya :)
Tadinya saya dan ibunda juga mau khataman buat nikahan ini, tapi sayang bgt, lama-lama berasa nggak keburu. Biar begitu, tadarus diusahain jalan terus, terlepas khatam atau nggak. Iya, mudah-mudahan pernikahan kita akan kebanjiran ridho, berkah, dan kebahagiaan sampe tua nanti yaa...
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